What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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