My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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