Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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My cat just died.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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