What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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star wars kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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