A baby seal walks into a club.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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This is my favorite antijoke.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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