What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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