What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

thumb_up thumb_down +12

relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops