An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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