Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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