I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops