Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

what did the dog say to the retarded black guy ? bark

Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

How's the weather? Good.

Joesph Triphook.

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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