Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops