What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

my penis

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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