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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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