What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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