A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops