A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

an american walks out of a strip club.

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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