You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Where's my baby??

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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David Cameron

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops