what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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One, two, three, four and five

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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Whats 1+1? window!

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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An Asian with a big dick.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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