What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops