What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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