Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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