A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Get on the boat.

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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