What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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What's worse than a spray tan? - A spray tan of hydrochloric acid.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops