whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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no.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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