Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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I have an idea! You leave.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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