- Anti Joke

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

kennah campion when she talks

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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