What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops