Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

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You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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