why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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knock,knock you suck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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