what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

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What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Bitch! Love, J.B.

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Reverse psychology never fails.

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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What? Why?

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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