Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

why did katy fall off her bike?

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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