What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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why did katy fall off her bike?

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Face Hunter is scum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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