What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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What did death say to life? Go die

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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CHORGLUND

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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