why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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purple pickles

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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