A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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