Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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1. Why did sally fall of the swing? -because she had no arms. 2.Knock Knock -Who's there? Not sally.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

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What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops