What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

u suck

._____________________. Whale!

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

How did the black man get into college? A mop.

What do you call a sheep with big teeth? Mitch

What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

This is not a joke or is it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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