How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

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I like colin but not as much as apple

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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Wait what? I did not type that!

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What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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