01010010001010010100100101001001010010100100100100100100100100100100100100010010101010101010101011010101010110010101010 Dolphin

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

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What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

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woman's rights

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What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

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hey John will you make some copies

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops