A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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Jake Bowar

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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Solvemedia fun: It says happy trails, a good one. Then it says Your answer below. ANSWER TO WHAT? To happy trails? Is that even a question? Is this world gonna explode? Is Santa real? Will Jesus ever return? I This and much more in the next exciting episode of Dragon NutZ SEE!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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