Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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a guy had 6 fingers& every1 called him john.y????? bcaz his name was john

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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Justin's hair

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ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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