what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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anti-joke teehee

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a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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If I just post the same thing someone else posted and say it was mine, I'm gonna be really popular because everyone is too dumb to realize it's not my original work of genius.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? Invisible carrots.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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