What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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your mother is so lesbian

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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