Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

thumb_up thumb_down -17

My kids are mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Your girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm terrible at poems. Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Does pizza sound good for dinner?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops