Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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UNICORNZ R PURPUL

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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