yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

Why did Janelle fail her math test? Because she didn't study.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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