Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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