You're adopted.

knock knock who's there ?

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I am homeless, Can I have some food?

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

I'm a fork. Fork you!!

knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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