69

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

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Boob

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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Call me Mr. Flinstone, for that is my surname.

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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