Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

What is harder than Jenga? Being a quadraplegic.

01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

A ginger was with his friends

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

What's up? Your time.

How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

Q:how many anti jokes does it take to make a person lough A:1

If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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