At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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Nicolas Cage's acting.

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Write your own

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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